I’m a very argumentative person. I like arguing; and not only do I like it, I’m always right. Also, I’m much better than you. This isn’t just vanity, it’s a fact. I’m faster, cleverer and braver. I’m stronger, more attractive and more versatile. If there’s an area I appear to not know anything about, it’s because I’ve never had the need to look into it, but I’m sure that if I did, I’d be much better at it than you anyway.
Of course, arguments on the web are hard to follow. They’re spread across websites, mailing lists, wikis, comments in articles. A thousand flowers may bloom may normally be a good principle, but it makes a bastard of finding them all.
At this point, with frustration looming (“who is right?”, “did he really say that about him?”, “where did he gets his facts from?”), all is solved by The Pixie Test
This reduces any argument to one simple question: “Who’s a lovely little pixie?” (see the above link for some good examples of this in practice).
Fortunately for me, my age-old nickname “Pip” (and the origin of my Tripod account name) stems from Enid Blyton’s stories of Pip the Pixie (amusingly enough, listed just below “Operation Homicide”), so serendipity has spoken, and, with the combination of my assumed moniker, high cheekbones and delicate nose I automatically win all arguments. Huzzah!